I’m into sharing some of my process of self growth because I want to create a positive feedback loop that values these words—this type of sharing—as medicine. This is how I DIY my experience, aka “make” my world. How I create a life and lifestyle that serves me best. I want to give you a practical example of the value of taking the time to look inside, journaling, reflecting on yourself, and using your mind as a resource to create the experience that you want to inhabit. This is what we do in a syntax rugrat session, and this is why I offer them.
Here I go.
I’ve been in one of those in-between phases where some things that I have been doing no longer fit me.
I recently had a dream in which a spider swallowed me, and when I was in her belly, I felt calm and soft. There were eyes everywhere. It wasn’t scary; it felt more like I was a point of consciousness just checking it all out. I had a hunch to google “spider dreams” and I was (not) shocked to see the website Spirit Animal had this to say: Just like the spider weaves her beautifully engineered web, this spirit animal fosters the integration of all parts and aspects of your life into a whole. When the spider shows up in your life, this spirit animal could guide you to integrate some piece of your personal “puzzle” and gain a more coherent perspective on your life.
This speaks to me in terms of my perspective on infrastructure. But that means out with the old, in with the new. What do I want to create?
I’m inspired by the body of knowledge in evolutionary astrology—it has pushed me toward the ability to harvest power from pieces in my ego. My understanding of evolutionary astrology is that it is the astrology of Pluto, noting that the placement of celestial bodies in our natal charts support the work that our soul—through the lens of Pluto—is here to do. We all have some real potential energy in the deeply mind-embedded pieces of Plutonian gobble-de-gook (which for me has to do with intimate balance [natal Pluto in Libra, house of balance and relationships to other people] and acceptance [natal Chiron in Taurus, house of matter n’ value]. I get that the work I have to do is connected to connection.) SO–what I want to create is more opportunities to put forth self care services. My self care offerings (as a business) are being support my need for connection (which is done on a creative level). (And here it is! The inner motivation = the outer making.)
Reflections: I unlocked some energy in the pieces of the personal puzzle by first asking myself what I want to create in my life. I continued by thinking about how to connect the pieces of my life that seemed separate, not accepting or not fitting with one another. I feel that I am ultimately weaving strands together. (Spider!) The major realization is that I can no longer hold energetic work as separate from my “normal” work (something I previously held as a necessary truth). It feels a little like the scene in Ghostbusters—crossing the beams, major power there! And I know now this is my how—the source of the “how am I gonna do all this?,” the power, is me. My mind is my power resource.
Cheers to connection, flow, and growth, and the integration of the dream work with the waking world and ability to share this experience. Cheers to the power in your mind. Cheers to cultivating awareness of the power of your mind.